End of Semester and Neil Gaiman

It's been a while since I was on break, and I have failed to post here as of yet. I promise to get better at that.

I finished a paper that, hopefully, is the prelude to a summer collaborative research project. I'm really nervous about how it turned out, as I had to send it to a professor I've never had for class.

Icky. I'll hear back from professors about it soon.

In other news, I've been watching a lot of movies and reading a lot of books. Well, just the one book, as I've only been on break for a semi-limited amount of time. I'm reading Neil Gaiman's "Fragile Things," finally, as it's been out for quite a long time and I somehow just haven't read it. I'm really enjoying it. Really, really enjoying it. I'm beginning to think he's much better at short works than at novels. He's also got a new book of short stories out, and it looks really good.

I've been watching a lot of Jane Austen-y movies. I've only read "Pride and Prejudice," but have seen adaptations of "Emma," "Sense and Sensibility," and "Mansfield Park." I don't remember l liking "Mansfield Park" as much as I did when I watched it a second time. Interesting. I've heard it's not an accurate adaptation (the one that I have is the 1999 version if you imdb it).

This break I've also been getting a hankering to decorate. Everything. Mostly the apartment that I'll be sharing with friends for next year. I keep attempting to remind myself that they will, ultimately, have input on what goes on the walls/in the apartment as well, but I'm just really excited to decorate. I love vintage, and I love tacky/cute/sweet home decorating. Retro junk was on the top of my Christmas list this year. With stars. And stores that I've approved.

Yes, I am a nerd. And far too excited about this.

But it brings me joy, so I'll pursue it. The apartment is going to be sooooo rad.

Reading over Thanksgiving Break

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and if you're not from America, I hope you've had a fantastic weekend.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. There's no pressure to buy gifts, no pressure to be religious, it's just about eating and being with friends and family. My parents always have a massive Thanksgiving feast. They got married the day after Thanksgiving, so it's a very special time for them. This year, we had fourteen people over. It was fabulous.

As there are only two weeks of the semester left, I've been frantically working on homework. Managed to write ten pages in a paper yesterday and finish the research for a different paper. Today, I'm hoping to finish up both papers (one is significantly shorter than the other).

Last night, as a treat to myself, I read The Little Prince. Oh my god. I can't believe I've never read it before. It was absolutley beautiful, and caused a bit of a shift in my thinking. This semester has been particularly difficult emotionally, and I've been so stressed out for so long and trying to just stay on top of everything that I've been burned out for weeks. Just ... sad. But this book got me thinking.

I've been trying to reclaim happiness in my life. I've also been trying to figure out what to do with myself, what direction to take my Social Justice major, and life after college. I've realized lately that maybe, emotionally, I'm just not right for working people through conflict. Which had sort of been the original plan. I've been thinking, lately, that maybe I should look at arts for social change instead of women in conflict. I'm much better at that, and it's much more easy for me to sustain and still be happy.

Reading The Little Prince really makes me think that I should do something that allows me to be happy, to cultivate wisdom. I don't always want to have to be in therapy to deal with my job. I want to be happy, I want to have the energy to be creative. I don't think the path that I was going down was going to make me happy. I could already tell - it's been wearing on me.

In this beautiful little book, I feel like I've found permission to do what works for me. I can't really explain it, and I need to read the book several more times to get the full meaning of it, but I read it at a time when it was needed.

I read my mom's copy of it, and I told her how much I loved it. She gave it to me. That's the spirit of the book, right there. Generosity and love.

And everyone could use a little more of that in their lives.

Naps and academics

I need a nap.

I've been trying to work on my abstract for my Arthur paper all day, and I is tired.

So procrastination begins!

I'm really excited to be able to read a novel for fun over break. Yes, I am definitely very excited about that. I also really want to continue writing my novel, which has been on hold for several months and is bothering me. I'm debating what to read. I know that I'll need to finish "The Phantom Tollbooth," but that's a kid's book so it's a really fast read.

I think it's high time I read "The Little Prince." I'm really into literary tattoos, and there are a lot of people that get images from that book as tattoos. I'd like to see what all the fuss is about. I also really want to read some more George Orwell. I'm feeling a reread of "1984," because for some reason "Animal Farm" just isn't catching my eye. But I should read "Animal Farm" at some point. Or some Kurt Vonnegut. I still haven't read any Kurt Vonnegut. I also want to read some Virginia Woolf, when I've got time to just relax and read it. She's got so much going on, I'd like to be able to pull it apart.

... Somehow, I don't think my winter break will be long enough for me to get through all of those books. Sad!

Oh, if only I were done with the semester. I feel like I'm about to go crazy. Yesterday was too nice, being at home. Way, way too nice. I can also focus so much better there than I can here - I think it's because here, it's my life and therefore overwhelming, but at home I have more ability to relax. I just need this semester to be over so I can get a new, fresh start. I hate it when the classes I'm taking get old and stale. Not good.

This post was written a couple of days ago, and I realized it would be really good to put it here. In other news, I'm being picked up by my parents in less than an hour for Thanksgiving. It should be pretty fantastic - Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

Peace out, folks!

NaNo Rejuvenation

I've been lagging behind in NaNo. This is understandable, considering it's the middle of the semester and November began with a history-making election.

(Hell yes Obama won! I feel like it's ok to hope again.)

And so my mind has been on other things. Clearly. I've been working hard with MPIRG to get out the vote, I've been keeping up with schoolwork (I have As in all of my classes), and I switched novel ideas just before November started. I've literally been starting from scratch, with three characters and a semblance of plot.

As of right now, the word count is at 1718. Considering how busy I've been, that's miraculous.

But it's not nearly where I should be to sit pretty.

Then I opened my email this morning and read Jonathan Stroud's pep talk. And I remembered why I'm doing NaNo. Because writing a novel will always be painful in some way - there isn't time to make it perfect, like you would with a poem. It's a HUGE quantity of writing, and the real writing is in the editing. The novel that I've been working on since this summer (the one I'm not doing for NaNo), was starting to make me question my ability because it isn't perfect or good, and so I took a break from it to do NaNo. And after NaNo, I can return to it with a new vigor, knowing that the first draft is the real trick.

So I'm writing a novel in a month.

I need to write my way up to 6666 words today to catch up, and I will. Even if I don't get that much sleep tonight. It's worth it.

And hopefully soon I'll have a werewolf play-list for noveling! That will be quite exciting.

First post of NaNoWriMo!

So I'm really behind with NaNo. As in, I have a little over one day's worth of writing in.

I knew it would be crazy around election-time (the show I've been working on also opened this weekend, not to mention Halloween festivities). And therefore, I'm really not where I should be with it right now. But ... schoolwork and sanity does have to come first. I think. At some point I'll probably revoke my sanity to push the story really hard core.

I reworked the story two days before November, deciding not to go with my original idea, so now I've got to figure out what the hell I'm doing. Thus far, I really like the storyline. The characters are coming surprisingly fast. I'm excited to get through the prologue and get to the first chapter, in which I introduce my main character.

I need to get designated writing time/writing special things. That will help me. And perhaps a playlist. (Which I will post, if that ever happens.)

My tattoo is amazing. I'm in love with it, and continue to get distracted by it every time I look at my feet.

Tomorrow's going to be crazy. I'm trying really hard not to be nervous about the election. Really, really hard.

"Fun Home"

I just read one of the best books for class. It's called "Fun Home" by Alison Bechdell.

It's actually not really a book. In fact, it is the best graphic novel I've ever read. I normally associate graphic novels with my brief but expensive anime phase, and give little shudder every time I think of them. But this one has reversed my opinion of graphic novels! Absolutely beautiful, and tragic, and comedic all at once, it's now one of my favorite books.

The plot follows Alison's childhood, and her relationship with her father. She's a lesbian, and he was a very closeted gay man. Or ... not quite straight man. Something like that. At any rate, it was fantastic. There are a lot of perfection issues in the family, and a lot of interesting crossings between art and life. What really struck me and kept me entirely enraptured was her constant literary allusion. Somehow, she made it seem absolutely natural, and not at all construed or pretentious.

Perhaps that's because I really like to think in literary allusion. Unfortunately, I'm not well-read enough to pull that off in my real life.

One can dream.

Anyway, I would suggest reading it. It's absolutely wonderful, and not as depressing as it really could have been. Thank you, Professor Reynolds for restoring my faith in the graphic novel as a medium.

I must be crazy.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year, but I'm in college and incredibly busy. And November will be me preparing for finals. I don't know if I can put aside time every day to write, and I definitely can't have a crash-writing frenzy at the end - I'll be even more busy; that's the nature of the semester.

I might pull myself out of it. Or I might do it to just try, and not expect to win. That might be the game plan.

I'll try to write a little every day before November, just to see if I can make it work. I might not be able to - October will probably be my busiest month.

We'll see what happens. I'm worried, though. I'll post more later on my deliberations.

My life is entirely theoretical.

My life is RIDICULOUS.

I will be taking three senior seminars, all three of which require a final research project (i.e. senior thesis). To finish in four years, I have to take nine classes a year (four per semester [aside from study abroad] + J-Term every year). I also really want to do a big research project over the summer having something to do with Arthur. I could make that into my senior seminar. Possibly.

Should really get that together, but first I need to come up with a good field study proposal for when I'm in India. I have the topic, but I need to refine it. Slash learn a lot more about India.

Yes, count it. That's FIVE independent research projects for my undergraduate career. FIVE. Unless the Arthur project becomes my senior seminar.

I also need to complete two internships, but if I do one at the White Earth Land Recovery Project, it counts for both Social Justice and Environmental Studies. Or I could also do an internship at the Twin Cities Center for Victims of Torture.

I am ridiculous.

Will definitely take quite a bit of time off between undergrad and grad school. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Don't know what the hell I'll do, but I don't need to yet.

I'm not all that stressed about all of this, but it's not entirely pending at the moment.

I figure I need to figure out my India project first. Then I can think about where I'll be next summer.

Academic Elitism

I'm really sick of academic elitism. I feel like it happens far more often in English than it does in my other major - Social Justice. Perhaps that's because of the nature of social justice, or perhaps that's because English is fighting to be considered a legitimate profession, but I'm really quite sick of this.

Last week, I was asked to be a tutor for the English 3010 Literary Criticism class. Actually, I was suggested specifically by one of the most notoriously difficult professors on campus. I felt kind of good about my performance in the academic sphere.

Today I got back my first paper for Literary Theory, and the grade was a c/c+. What? Am I just sucking it up this year? I feel really horrible about that grade. I've never got a c on anything before. In my entire academic career. I will be able to redo the paper, thankfully, but still. Gah. That's a horrible place to start.

I'm also wondering if I'm really as academically minded as I had initially thought myself to be. Am really not sure about that. I'm feeling the need to go out and live life for a while - so much of what I'm doing right now is entirely theoretical. I don't know how to handle that.

I'll go work on my novel and shut up about this. I both love and hate academic elitism. I know that if I were a professor, I would be an absolute bitch about grading. Exceedingly high expectations. So I guess I have those expectations of myself.

I'll get over it, I promise. Or maybe I won't, considering this is only my sophomore year of school. Maybe this will be a recurring theme as long as I'm working in the English field.

*sigh*

Writing will make me feel better.

Awkward first blog

Hey there.

I'm a college student, majoring in English and Social Justice with a minor in Environmental Studies. I'm really super busy with the election at the moment, and do a ton of activist work.

This is my blogging escape. I'll talk all about my voyage through the literary world, both reading and writing. I'm working on a novel right now, and I'm going to do National Novel Writing Month in November. I've been wanting to do it for years, and it finally makes perfect sense.

In fact, everything about me makes more sense now that I'm doing NaNoWriMo. Seriously.

I'll also be doing book reviews. I have an enormous library of books that I haven't read, so I'm going to try to get through them.

For the record, I haven't finished "The Once and Future King" yet. Will get on that - but I already know it's a favorite.