And now it's collapse-time

Earth Day is kind of a big deal when you're an environmental activist.

I have learned that this year.

I only just now finished doing things for the day. I've been going straight since my 8 o'clock class. And the thing is that I know I really should do some more reading tonight for class, but I just can't muster the energy to do it.

I guess I'm really hitting zombie mode. This week is horrible, as far as scheduling goes. Tomorrow is Earth Day, and we're having a huge sustainability fair. I also have a collaborative research meeting, right after the fair. Then, lots of homework. I still have about 100 pages of reading for Thursday and a rough draft for creative writing to do.

Thursday is registration for next semester, three classes, two meetings, and working as a dresser backstage. After that, I'm sure I'll collapse.

Friday is pretty wide open - except I'm going to Take Back The Night that night, and I'm going to try to do homework that day.

Saturday is the garden clean-up and planning session. Then, Saturday night I'm having a henna party as a fundraiser for SoS.

Sunday is homework catch-up, a SPROUT meeting, and then chilling with SPROUT members. Also, swing dancing.

Thankfully, next week isn't nearly as crazy. It just so happens that everything always lines up to bite me in the ass at once.

I'm also going to go to bed early. God, it's like I'm a grown up or something ...

I want to actually post about something, but I can't. This is my life this week. Sad.

When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide ...

Haven't done a post here in a while.

I'm thinking of phasing out this blog, actually. Right now, I'm doing four blogs, and that's not so good.

This weekend I've felt super bi-polar. I finally collapsed from the financial pressure of Summer of Solutions, and am now trying to dig myself back up to a stable place. That sounds really dramatic, and it sort of is, but it's not all that bad. Just ... a lot of pressure, and an insane week ahead of me.

Yeah, Earth Day tends to be important for us environmentalist-types. It's also Take Back the Night on Friday, which should be fantastic.

Although, I'm still excited about it.

Meeeeeeh. I've been doing henna lately, and will have pictures in my next post. Yes. Pictures are important things.

Writer's Block from good old Livejournal.

LiveJournal is turning 10 and we're feeling nostalgic. What was your first LJ post about?


View other answers
I started this entry yesterday. In answer to that Writer's Block thing about your first post.

This is the original post:

Well, I'm Psykiapa Nithiantum (really, that's not my name, but I'm sure that you guys are bright enough to figure that out.) I should really tell stuff about myself, you know, the basics, my interests, that kind of thing.

I am an important member of society (ie, a broke author that hasn't published one book) that contributes a lot to her peer group. Yes, I am a girl. I not only write, but I play music. Several different kinds. I play Eb saxophone, clarinet, guitar and piano (well, I sort of play guitar and piano, I'm just learning. ;)). I am in the jazz band with my barry sax, but I practice with the alto at home (have you ever tried to lug one of those things around? It's hard!). I'm in Marching Band as well, playing clarinet (hard, but in a different kind of way).

The novel I'm currently working on is untitled, I can't tell you that just yet. I won't tell you the plot either, because someone might steal it from me, and I will remain broke. So just . . . yeah. Don't beat yourselves up.

I participate in the martial arts. My particular art is Okinawa GoJu Ryu. I am a blue belt. (I laugh at those of you who thought I was a black belt for a moment there. *laughs*)

I live in America, but I speak like a British person, people have been confused on that before. I just thought I should clear that up.

My favorite bands include the Beatles and the Goo Goo Dolls. The only music I am adverse to is hip hop, pop, country, and bluegrass, so I'm pretty well rounded.

I don't like math. I find it evil. But I do like science. So it's bad that I don't like math, because math and science go together.

I am also an artist, though you wouldn't know any of my work. I've never made a dime off of it, so it's just mine. Though, it isn't too bad.

I'm trying to get into plays this year, but you just never know. If writing doesn't work out, I think I'll pursue theatre. That is, if I ever make the audition.

Okay, I should really sum up the rest of my quirks:

Obsessions:
Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings
the supernatural in general
fantasy
The Princess Bride
Pirates of the Caribbean (the newest obsession. yay! *waves big johnny depp and orlando bloom flag*)
slash fanfiction (oh yeah, you know you love it too)
writing
reading
watching movies
hanging out
the internet (i know I'm a bum)
performing
music (both listening and performing)
Cicero (a character from my book that I think I have an obsession over ... he's just so COOL!)

And, last but not least, this Live Journal (judging by the size of this entry).

That's me in a very small nutshell. You'll get to know me better soon enough.

Psykiapa

I WAS SO NERDY! (Actually, I guess it's not really a "was" sort of thing - I AM super nerdy.)

It all started at livejournal. Now, it's branched out to four different blogs (though I think I'll stop with this blogspot. Just ... no need for four.)

Here are linkies:

Livejournal. Oh, the old memories. This is my actual personal blog, since it can be Friends Only.

thInk Blots. New blog! Haven't really done much with it yet, but I think it's going to be my blog where I talk about making recycled clothing and things and sell shit. Artsy blog, and it will also talk about my steps toward a more sustainable life. I made this blog so that I could be a contributor on ...

Solutionaries. This is the Summer of Solutions blog, where people post about philosophical stuff in the green movement, their own stories, and update about what's going on for them. I haven't done my intro entry yet, but will sometime soon.

I'm a little bit wary of having to use my actual name for the wordpress blogs. My slightly paranoid self is a little worried that someone I don't like would find my blogs, and then find me. This is vaguely irrational, but a real concern otherwise. I have a history of stalkers and bad exes.

If something comes of it, I'll just have to deal with it like an adult.

In other news, am taking a mental health day. I really need it. I already woke up stressed about all the shit I have to do - and it's quite a long list. Will update on that at the end of the day. Hopefully, by the end of this week I'll have something together so I feel less frantic about things. So much is going on right now, and next week is going to be hell due to the Earth Week thing. (This is a big deal for environmentalists.)

I'm going to go make a To Do list now, and then be productive.

Collaborative Research!

I GOT THE GRANT! I GOT THE GRANT!

Hello, collaborative research! Hello, not needing to find a job yet! Hello SUMMER OF SOLUTIONS!

This is so awesome! Money + research opportunity + life coming together = massive amounts of awesome!

All that work over spring break really, REALLY paid off! And now for the happy dance and the relaxation about the summer.

Crawling out of my skin

x-posted from Livejournal. Originally written late last night.

I've decided that I need to travel in the spring. I get restless. That's an understatement.

I'm also navigating yet another life crisis. I think that I should just say "My life is a journey, with a plot, and constant crisis."

This time, it's money, which I'm nervous about to begin with. And we don't have that many hours at the costume shop. Goddamit, Easter. I need a second job, but don't have time, so I have to quit one of my organizations. I've actually needed to do that for a while - my life is ridiculously complicated. The question is, which one?

Am also getting anxious about this summer. I need moneys ... preferably in the form of a research grant.

I just want to curl up for a week and disappear. I think that's what spring break was supposed to be. I had the social spring break, but not the solitary spring break.

If I had the money, I would go to Scotland alone in August. It's some big anniversary, so rates there are cheap this year. And hey, Scotland alone. Very spiritual, fairly safe journey.

Unfortunately, no money. None. Whatsoever. Maybe I'll save up to go North alone or something. Should be worthwhile.

I need to get the hell out of here. Leaving always makes home better.

And now ... sleep.

What if?

What would happen if ...

I went to Bangladesh next January.
I kept going to yoga every week, at least once if not twice.
I spent some time doing hard-core activist work, but then settled down to a menial job at a coffee shop, bookstore, or other retail job.
I could work on my writing, maybe get a few things published.

What if, instead of going on to traditional grad school, I decided to become a yoga practitioner, or a masseuse, or a henna artist?
Maybe I could open a recycled clothing/book store.
Maybe I could find purpose in simplicity and not run myself into the ground.
I could still do some organizing, but it wouldn't necessarily be my job.

Maybe later, when I really knew what I wanted to teach, I could become a professor. But much later in life.

Maybe I could join the Peace Corps. Maybe not.

There are so many what ifs in my life right now. So many possibilities that sometimes I scare myself thinking of all of them. And I know there is an infinity of possibilities. There is so much potential in every moment.

I'm afraid of missing something.