And now it's collapse-time

Earth Day is kind of a big deal when you're an environmental activist.

I have learned that this year.

I only just now finished doing things for the day. I've been going straight since my 8 o'clock class. And the thing is that I know I really should do some more reading tonight for class, but I just can't muster the energy to do it.

I guess I'm really hitting zombie mode. This week is horrible, as far as scheduling goes. Tomorrow is Earth Day, and we're having a huge sustainability fair. I also have a collaborative research meeting, right after the fair. Then, lots of homework. I still have about 100 pages of reading for Thursday and a rough draft for creative writing to do.

Thursday is registration for next semester, three classes, two meetings, and working as a dresser backstage. After that, I'm sure I'll collapse.

Friday is pretty wide open - except I'm going to Take Back The Night that night, and I'm going to try to do homework that day.

Saturday is the garden clean-up and planning session. Then, Saturday night I'm having a henna party as a fundraiser for SoS.

Sunday is homework catch-up, a SPROUT meeting, and then chilling with SPROUT members. Also, swing dancing.

Thankfully, next week isn't nearly as crazy. It just so happens that everything always lines up to bite me in the ass at once.

I'm also going to go to bed early. God, it's like I'm a grown up or something ...

I want to actually post about something, but I can't. This is my life this week. Sad.

When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide ...

Haven't done a post here in a while.

I'm thinking of phasing out this blog, actually. Right now, I'm doing four blogs, and that's not so good.

This weekend I've felt super bi-polar. I finally collapsed from the financial pressure of Summer of Solutions, and am now trying to dig myself back up to a stable place. That sounds really dramatic, and it sort of is, but it's not all that bad. Just ... a lot of pressure, and an insane week ahead of me.

Yeah, Earth Day tends to be important for us environmentalist-types. It's also Take Back the Night on Friday, which should be fantastic.

Although, I'm still excited about it.

Meeeeeeh. I've been doing henna lately, and will have pictures in my next post. Yes. Pictures are important things.

Writer's Block from good old Livejournal.

LiveJournal is turning 10 and we're feeling nostalgic. What was your first LJ post about?


View other answers
I started this entry yesterday. In answer to that Writer's Block thing about your first post.

This is the original post:

Well, I'm Psykiapa Nithiantum (really, that's not my name, but I'm sure that you guys are bright enough to figure that out.) I should really tell stuff about myself, you know, the basics, my interests, that kind of thing.

I am an important member of society (ie, a broke author that hasn't published one book) that contributes a lot to her peer group. Yes, I am a girl. I not only write, but I play music. Several different kinds. I play Eb saxophone, clarinet, guitar and piano (well, I sort of play guitar and piano, I'm just learning. ;)). I am in the jazz band with my barry sax, but I practice with the alto at home (have you ever tried to lug one of those things around? It's hard!). I'm in Marching Band as well, playing clarinet (hard, but in a different kind of way).

The novel I'm currently working on is untitled, I can't tell you that just yet. I won't tell you the plot either, because someone might steal it from me, and I will remain broke. So just . . . yeah. Don't beat yourselves up.

I participate in the martial arts. My particular art is Okinawa GoJu Ryu. I am a blue belt. (I laugh at those of you who thought I was a black belt for a moment there. *laughs*)

I live in America, but I speak like a British person, people have been confused on that before. I just thought I should clear that up.

My favorite bands include the Beatles and the Goo Goo Dolls. The only music I am adverse to is hip hop, pop, country, and bluegrass, so I'm pretty well rounded.

I don't like math. I find it evil. But I do like science. So it's bad that I don't like math, because math and science go together.

I am also an artist, though you wouldn't know any of my work. I've never made a dime off of it, so it's just mine. Though, it isn't too bad.

I'm trying to get into plays this year, but you just never know. If writing doesn't work out, I think I'll pursue theatre. That is, if I ever make the audition.

Okay, I should really sum up the rest of my quirks:

Obsessions:
Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings
the supernatural in general
fantasy
The Princess Bride
Pirates of the Caribbean (the newest obsession. yay! *waves big johnny depp and orlando bloom flag*)
slash fanfiction (oh yeah, you know you love it too)
writing
reading
watching movies
hanging out
the internet (i know I'm a bum)
performing
music (both listening and performing)
Cicero (a character from my book that I think I have an obsession over ... he's just so COOL!)

And, last but not least, this Live Journal (judging by the size of this entry).

That's me in a very small nutshell. You'll get to know me better soon enough.

Psykiapa

I WAS SO NERDY! (Actually, I guess it's not really a "was" sort of thing - I AM super nerdy.)

It all started at livejournal. Now, it's branched out to four different blogs (though I think I'll stop with this blogspot. Just ... no need for four.)

Here are linkies:

Livejournal. Oh, the old memories. This is my actual personal blog, since it can be Friends Only.

thInk Blots. New blog! Haven't really done much with it yet, but I think it's going to be my blog where I talk about making recycled clothing and things and sell shit. Artsy blog, and it will also talk about my steps toward a more sustainable life. I made this blog so that I could be a contributor on ...

Solutionaries. This is the Summer of Solutions blog, where people post about philosophical stuff in the green movement, their own stories, and update about what's going on for them. I haven't done my intro entry yet, but will sometime soon.

I'm a little bit wary of having to use my actual name for the wordpress blogs. My slightly paranoid self is a little worried that someone I don't like would find my blogs, and then find me. This is vaguely irrational, but a real concern otherwise. I have a history of stalkers and bad exes.

If something comes of it, I'll just have to deal with it like an adult.

In other news, am taking a mental health day. I really need it. I already woke up stressed about all the shit I have to do - and it's quite a long list. Will update on that at the end of the day. Hopefully, by the end of this week I'll have something together so I feel less frantic about things. So much is going on right now, and next week is going to be hell due to the Earth Week thing. (This is a big deal for environmentalists.)

I'm going to go make a To Do list now, and then be productive.

Collaborative Research!

I GOT THE GRANT! I GOT THE GRANT!

Hello, collaborative research! Hello, not needing to find a job yet! Hello SUMMER OF SOLUTIONS!

This is so awesome! Money + research opportunity + life coming together = massive amounts of awesome!

All that work over spring break really, REALLY paid off! And now for the happy dance and the relaxation about the summer.

Crawling out of my skin

x-posted from Livejournal. Originally written late last night.

I've decided that I need to travel in the spring. I get restless. That's an understatement.

I'm also navigating yet another life crisis. I think that I should just say "My life is a journey, with a plot, and constant crisis."

This time, it's money, which I'm nervous about to begin with. And we don't have that many hours at the costume shop. Goddamit, Easter. I need a second job, but don't have time, so I have to quit one of my organizations. I've actually needed to do that for a while - my life is ridiculously complicated. The question is, which one?

Am also getting anxious about this summer. I need moneys ... preferably in the form of a research grant.

I just want to curl up for a week and disappear. I think that's what spring break was supposed to be. I had the social spring break, but not the solitary spring break.

If I had the money, I would go to Scotland alone in August. It's some big anniversary, so rates there are cheap this year. And hey, Scotland alone. Very spiritual, fairly safe journey.

Unfortunately, no money. None. Whatsoever. Maybe I'll save up to go North alone or something. Should be worthwhile.

I need to get the hell out of here. Leaving always makes home better.

And now ... sleep.

What if?

What would happen if ...

I went to Bangladesh next January.
I kept going to yoga every week, at least once if not twice.
I spent some time doing hard-core activist work, but then settled down to a menial job at a coffee shop, bookstore, or other retail job.
I could work on my writing, maybe get a few things published.

What if, instead of going on to traditional grad school, I decided to become a yoga practitioner, or a masseuse, or a henna artist?
Maybe I could open a recycled clothing/book store.
Maybe I could find purpose in simplicity and not run myself into the ground.
I could still do some organizing, but it wouldn't necessarily be my job.

Maybe later, when I really knew what I wanted to teach, I could become a professor. But much later in life.

Maybe I could join the Peace Corps. Maybe not.

There are so many what ifs in my life right now. So many possibilities that sometimes I scare myself thinking of all of them. And I know there is an infinity of possibilities. There is so much potential in every moment.

I'm afraid of missing something.

Not much has happened

My moods have been swinging up and down strangely all day. I don't quite know what to make of them. Acting was really fun this morning, and then I went to get lunch. I don't know if I was upset about the lack of good food, or general irritation, or what, but I got super crabby really fast. And it wasn't fun for anyone. It feels a little bit like PMS with a vengeance.

Then I took an hour long nap. Felt better, upon waking up, and have been trying to work on my short story for creative writing since then. It's going slowly. I think I'll take a break to accomplish some other homework-y things.

At the very least, it feels good to have most of my homework caught up on. That makes things better.

I am liking the switch over to the new voice for the novel, but it's hard to break out of my old writing style. This short story thing is a good idea, though, as I will actually get a chance to edit. Hopefully that will make me feel better about my skills as a writer. As of right now, it's sucking the big one.

Hmm ... I think some writerly TLC may be in order. Reading encouraging books on writing will be nice.

Finished the cowl yesterday. It's a fuck-up. And I also failed to bind it off correctly, so it's dying. Gah. Fail. Fail, fail, FAIL. At least now I can get started on my new purse. I need lots and lots of practice if I'm going to start up an etsy shop/generally sell my things.

Back to homework now. Maybe I should update about spring break? Is that necessary?

The trick is to keep breathing ...

Oh god, I think I've come down with the crazy. Seriously.

Spring break is torturous in that it isn't quite long enough. It gives me just a taste of time off, but fails to provide real time for that. I haven't got nearly what I wanted to get done done this week. Oh well, I always have grand plans for whenever I'm on break and it just doesn't happen.

I've been thinking quite seriously about selling things on Etsy. Before I do that, of course, I have to work on a wide variety of projects. I'm thinking I'll sell knitted things, sewn things, and possibly some collage art. Yeeeeaaaah. It's all very exciting, and gives me an excuse to make things. I may also make some wall-hanging type things. I have no idea what I'll make them out of, but that would be cool. I do so love interior decorating.

Now, I just need to finish the knitting project I've been working on. My cats actually bit the ball of yarn off the project so they could bat it around. I'm torn between annoyance and letting my heart melt due to the cute. It is very cute of them to become so aggressively involved with my projects, but I'm a little worried about the outcome of this project. Oh well.

Spent most of this afternoon attempting to write a short story for creative writing. It's a bit of an experiment - I hate being that girl who just writes a chapter of the novel, but honestly, I need to experiment with point of view. I can already tell that going from this character's point of view will make the story better, but it's a big commitment to switching over. I'm not going to throw out everything I've written, but instead I'll do a section in one point of view, and a section in another.

Unfortunately, the short story is giving me problems. At least I'll be able to edit this one and beat it into shape, rather than living wtih the embarrassment like I must with the novel.

Mom and I have a date tonight. She's going to buy me a skirt or a pair of pants. This is all kinds of exciting - I'm thinking a new, summer skirt may just be in order. We're also going to go out to eat, and then to Borders. Yes, please.

Pink grapefruit and yogurt

Is my breakfast. Mmmmm, tasty. However, my dad didn't really tell me how to make coffee correctly, so I've basically made myself tea from coffee beans. Eurgh. Just added milk; that may help. May be a lost cause.

I'm very happy to be back at home. I feel like Spring Break has finally started. I mean, really, it started when I got my research proposal in (omg, really want to hear back about that), but my brother was around, so things were off. And now he's not here, and I'm done with work, so ... that means, naturally, that my break has started.

I didn't expect to get alone-time today, but apparently I will. I'm going to use it to get some sewing done - I'm making this dress for myself, out of emerald silk. It will be very beautiful, but it is sort of complicated. We'll see how this goes.

By lunch, I'm planning on going to the Acoustic and hunkering down with a sandwich, some tea (or coffee-thing), and getting some reading done for Creative Writing. I'm supposed to read all of these short stories and journal about them. Really, it's not a huge deal, but it kind of fell by the wayside due to Powershift. And it's not terribly strenuous homework. Short stories? Yes please.

I also have to write a short story of my own, which will require planning. Mmmm, yes.

I'm actually in a fairly good mood, despite the date-failure of this weekend. (Hence my declaration that I'm a frigid cow.)

I think I'll get a lot done on that dress, and it's super pretty. Now, I just have to brush the teeth and go out to get thread. I wish I didn't have to, but apparently we don't have emerald thread. Why? It's such a useful color!

I will post pictures of things once they're finished. I'm considering opening a shop on Etsy, and making me the moneys. I do like to sew and knit things, but can't possibly need so many things. It will take a while, but I'll post pictures here and hopefully get some good feedback.

Off to go be productive. *muah* Thank you all for putting up with me. Sometimes I wonder why I have friends.

Micro-update

Quick update:

*Computer dead. Am very sad-face about it.
*SPRING BREAK YEAH!
*Am a workaholic.
*And a frigid cow.
*Signed the lease.
*Getting. Shit. Done.
*Need to make money by doing something with a very small time commitment. Perhaps I should donate plasma. Unfortunately, have recent tattoo. Damn it.

Yup. That's about it. Can't wait to get back to Menom.

A View Post-Midterms

Music: "Pas Encore" - Pomplamoose
Location: The Homestead
Mood: Happy

Today, I FINALLY submitted my collaborative research proposal.

That has been my day. I woke up, started working on the proposal, and didn't really stop. Ten pages and seven hours later, I was able to send it in for submission. Here's hoping I can get the grant - that would be $2,500 for the summer.

If I don't get the research, I'll take a class. And either way, I'll be doing Summer of Solutions.

To celebrate officially being on break, I'm going to go chill with some friends tonight. I'll have to call Carolyn, to see if I can go over early to chill with her for a bit. It feels so good to be able to relax.

And, you guessed it. It's that special time. Plug time!:

Summer of Solutions is awesome. Check out the website! That's just the Twin Cities site, but you could go to several different places. Here's a list of all program placements. We're hoping to get as many cool cats as possible working on it, so you should join us!

End plug time.

My home life is somewhat bizarre right now. My brother is actually in town for a visit. He'll only be here until really early Sunday morning, but he's here. I really haven't seen him in something like two years, so it's really weird to see him. I forgot how quiet he is sometimes, and how laid back. I forgot that he smokes. But he remembers a lot. I feel like a vaguely self-centered being.

Tomorrow my dad and brother are brewing beer together. Hence, I'm going to try to get out of the house. Anyone have any ideas? I am more than happy to do pretty much anything. Except, you know, homicide. Most other things are still allowed.

Chronic Nervous Conditions Can Be Overcome

Wow, this week has been awful, but I'm almost done. I think my midterms ripped out my soul. I might need a replacement.

And getting ill really doesn't help. I don't think I actually had the stomach flu, it was more of a nervous condition combined with a chronic exhaustion. Spring break can't come soon enough.

But from the perspective of the now, things are looking pretty good. All I have to do now is some reading for tomorrow morning, and then I'm in the money.

I got my background check in to the house I want to rent. Now, as soon as that goes through, Kira and I can sign a lease. Yes! I think we're the only ones that have submitted background checks, so we're already ahead of the game. I'll email the landlady to make sure she got our stuff. I really hope this works out, teh apartment is the cutest thing ever, and it's super convenient. When we toured it, I felt this glowing feeling of all being right, you know, that feeling that this is the place.

Pictures of that will come, of course, once we've signed a lease/moved in. Moving party? Yes?

I also think that my research proposal is in a form that is as close to finished as possible. I sent it off to my professor-collaborator, and here's hoping that they give me funding to do the project. It's really, really exciting, and I might use this research to launch a grassroots campaign. But first, I really need to get the lay of the land, which is exactly what this project is for. It will also be really good to familiarize myself with policy surrounding renewable energy and tribal lands, and to worm my way into the system.

Had a meeting today with Timothy from Summer of Solutions, and I may have bitten off more than I can chew. I have a project for spring break now, though, and this stuff really needs to get rolling. I won't go into the details of what I'm doing, but Summer of Solutions is going full throttle on the grassroots fundraising effort, and we need to start delegating positions to get the logistics figured out. Like ... housing. And ... office space. And ... stipends.

Lots of work, but very exciting, and I believe in my heart that this is entirely necessary.

Everything is starting to come together, I think, for so many aspects of my life. And then ... ten days of as much break as I'm going to get. Yesssss. I'll post a schedule of my break for those of you who know me in real life. It's looking a bit complicated, but it should be workable.

EDIT: WE GOT THE APARTMENT! This is so perfect - I'm really, really happy. I have a place to live next year!

LIfe? I have one?

My life is pretty good right now, aside from schoolwork. I think. Maaaaybe.

I have a date for the first time in a year, and that's always exciting. We don't know when we're going out, or what we're doing, but it will happen. I am determined, and he sounded excited/nervous when I talked to him on the phone.

That's a good thing. Also, I didn't get into the university apartments, but I think that's alright. I've already found some very exciting options for off-campus housing. I've already got a visit scheduled tomorrow - it's the best deal so far. The landlord seems really nice, and it's two blocks away, and all utilities are included in rent, including cable and internet. That's amazing, really. And it's only something like $550 a month. I think they've also got off-street parking, which is another thing that's super important.

I know that it's important to keep looking, but honestly, I'm almost ready to sign this lease. It seems perfect.

There's another place two blocks away, right behind one of my favorite coffee shops. I'm not sure what the utilities are, and if internet or cable is included, but I really like the location and it seems cute. I'll definitely be calling them later today.

And on top of the house search, I've got so much homework I can barely conceive of anything else. One of my professors assigned a book and a paper for this weekend for the midterm. Yeah. It's 164 pages, which is better than I had thought, but he prefaced the assignment with "Now, this author decided to create a new genre in historical accounting. It's difficult, translated from Italian, and while very exciting, very difficult. Don't start this Sunday night."

And I was all like "thanks Carl, for destroying my soul."

That's on top of crazy homework in my other classes, which I am also behind in. Gah! Not good! So basically, I'm screwed for the weekend. Do not attempt to talk to me, or get me to hang out with you, it will be a failure.

I'm really excited that spring break is coming soon. I'm so stressed that I woke up stressed out, with a backache and a headache. I will attempt to meditate at some point today, but that may not be that effective, given my stress levels. Spring break just needs to get here faster. Ready ... go.

Wow, I just realized how ridiculously hot my dorm room is. It's probably in the 90s. This is not necessary, not at all. And I have no way of changing that.

Quick break to update

I've been working on my creative writing homework all morning. Well, since I got out of class.

I'm pretty sure that the invention of the mocha is the only way I'm vertical right now. My sleep schedule is, yet again, attempting to do weird things. I could barely keep my eyes open all day yesterday, and last night I could hardly keep myself in bed. What the fuck, sleep schedule? Seriously.

I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, and am feeling more and more ashamed of my novel. Perhaps "ashamed" isn't the right word. "Self-conscious" might be a better one. It's a first draft, and therefore shitty, and I haven't taken the time lately to do any world/plot-building, character work, or even just vomiting ideas into a notebook. For what it's worth, I wrote a poem from the point of view of one of my characters. And I think I like that one poem better than the majority of the shit I've written on my NOVEL which is 15 CHAPTERS LONG.

Despite all of these wibbles, I'm feeling pretty damn good about writing right now. I'm such a masochist. My writing is fueled by when it needs to be ripped into little shreds.

I've also been struggling to get my research proposal in, polished, and the details for that solidified. This is going well, but I'm starting on the new idea so late in the game that I'm a bit worried. Honestly, I'll still be working on Summer of Solutions if I don't get the proposal. If I don't get the grant, it will just mean that I'll need to get a job or an internship on the side. Not ideal, but doable.

Tomorrow is room draw for the apartments. I really hope that we can get an apartment, but have been collecting numbers and stuff just in case we don't. I think I'll be fine with life either way, the apartments are just the most ideal situation.

Anyway, off to do more homework. I just thought I should get a little update out there. Yes. Updates on life are good.


Edit: This quote really sums up my feelings about my novel quite nicely:

Can I write? Will I write if I practice enough? How much should I sacrifice to writing anyway, before I find out if I'm any good? Above all, CAN A SELFISH EGOCENTRIC JEALOUS AND UNIMAGINATIVE FEMALE WRITE A DAMN THING WORTHWHILE? - Sylvia Plath.

I feel your pain, Sylvia.

Back from DC

I am officially back from DC! Actually, I have been back from DC for several days now, but I had to make a running start on the week. It's astonishingly difficult to start in the middle of the week.

The conference was absolutely amazing. There were about 12,000 young people there, and they were expecting there to be about 5,000 people there for the lobby day. This is huge - a conference that scale is amazing. And it was really good. It was quite difficult for me to decide which workshops and panels to go to. I ended up going to two really great workshops on climate justice and indigenous rights, and then I went to a really great panel that was basically a Lay of the Land of energy issues in the US.

This December, there's an international meeting in Copenhagen (this is kind of like Kyoto), and so there's a huge push for the US to pass climate legislation before Copenhagen. There will be a Midwest delegation to Copenhagen. I doubt that there's any chance I could get to go, but it can't hurt to apply, right? This is very, very exciting, and especially with Obama announcing that he wants to pass aggressive policies to cut down on the US's additions to climate change, this is looking more and more possible.

It's just certain people in Congress and the Senate that we'll have to convince.

The point is, right now is a really exciting time for legislation.

Other exciting things? Summer of Solutions. This is really awesome. A bunch of friends from SPROG, and new friends from Powershift are getting together this summer to work on environmental issues. Right now, it looks like the twin cities summer of solutions will focus a lot on energy. I've changed my summer research proposal accrodingly, and am really excited about my project.

This is the project: I want to make a documentary on energy justice and indigenous groups. This is really timely, as reservations like White Earth are beginning to look at developing energy initiatives on their land. There are also serious justice issues, like detrimental development on lands. The rates of cancer on reservations have skyrocketed due to the mining of uranium, shale sand, and coal on or near the lands. These are really strange cancers too - like brain cancer. Things that don't develop elsewhere.

There's also stuff like this, which Tiki pointed me to. Yes, Tiki, you sent that link to exactly the right person to get fired up and do something about it.

So yes. This is my life for the past week. This weekend I'd been planning on going home, but due to the change in my research plans, I've got to stick around and figure stuff out. Not to mention the fact that I'm behind in homework, and may have contracted mono. Someone that I rode out on the bus with was developing mono, and I sat right behind her. Not so good.

Life has been entirely overwhelming post-powershift. It's always a strange adjustment, coming back from a very activist-centered thing. I have to readjust to the rhythms and excitements of the real world.

Am going to crash sometime soon. Seriously. Will probably update again later this weekend - my life has been a whirlwind of ideas this week, and I'm struggling to gain some sort of equilibrium with it right now.

Thundercats are GO!

I think I've done everything I need to before the conference. I've packed (though I'm sure I'm forgetting about something majorly important), I've done homework, I've figured out my finances (I have just enough within my comfort zone), and ... I have a sleeping bag. I put in my time card at work, and will (hopefully) be getting paid Saturday.

Things are looking awesome.

Marcella (the professor I've been doing research with) suggested something that kind of rocked my little Arthurian world the other day. She talked about incorporating Summer of Solutions into a project on environmental activism vs. class/labor union activism and building a green economy.

Now is the time to do that kind of thing. The economy fucking sucks, and most people are admitting we should at least attempt to do something about climate change.

Problem? The collaborative research proposal deadline is March 20th. I don't know if I can switch focus that soon.

Other problem? My doing collaborative research on Arthur this summer might help me get into the Arthur senior sem next fall (even though I'd be a junior), which would make my life much easier senior year (as I'll be studying abroad that fall).

So it's looking more like the Arthur project is feasible. The other one would be really intense, and I think I'd need to get my feet wet to really do a good job. One really cool thing about that second idea I've been kicking around is the possibility of making it a sort of (almost) ecological/anthropological study. This is good especially if I decide to go to grad school for Anthropology.

I've also been nerding out hardcore about art lately. This is a really great artist, and I think that if I ever get a big back piece, I would want it to be in this style. Not the super creepy stuff, but ... that stylistic working.

Powershift is tomorrow! Ahh! So exciting! I've never been to something like this before, so I don't know quite how rockin' awesome it's going to be yet. But it should be pretty sweet. I don't know whether I'm insane for looking forward to a collective of 44 hours on a bus this weekend or not, but it's pretty exciting. Great people do awesome thing in confined spaces for prolonged amounts of time.

I should get to bed. Big day/weekend ahead of me.

Thundercats are GO!

Three days til blast-off ...

Three days and counting. DC, here I come!

In case you're curious about this hella awesome conference, I'll post a link here. I'm super, super excited.

http://www.powershift09.org

There. Check it, this is going to be awesome.

Is it strange that I'm super excited about the 20 hour bus ride there, and then the ride back? It'll be really great to chill with new friends. They're all very cool people, and I'm quite happy to be spending any amount of time with them.

As for life as it currently stands, I am absolutely insane this week. I'm trying to finish homework so I can read fun things and socialize on the bus, but that's rather a lot of homework. I should also really do the dishes before I leave (they're getting scary and multiplying ...), as well as the laundry, but I've only really got two more days.

Dad's coming up on Wednesday to pick out a new sleeping bag. He's bothered about the state of my old one. Apparently this means I'm getting a new one. Hey, no complaints here. It's also the week before tech. week at work, and so I should really be at work as much as possible. Not to mention I could really use the money ...

Good news: I submitted a draft of my research proposal to Marcella today. Yay! Hopefully she'll like it. We're meeting up tomorrow to discuss it. I love her to pieces.

It also looks like I might be able to do Summer of Solutions as well as Collaborative Research. That would be cool ... I need to do at least five hours of research a day this summer, but that leaves quite a lot of time for Summer of Solutions. Especially if I'm not a leader-type person.

Meh. As for now, I really need to go to bed, seeing as how I'm still a bit screwed up from my massive sleep schedule reversal.

Good night, lj/blog-land!

I have officially done strange things to my sleep schedule

I didn't go to Tapestry last night to dance. I was too exhausted, and was holding back the PMS crabby and SICK of PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.

All in all I think that was a good decision.

Then, I came back and tried to take a nap. That didn't really work out so well. I got up, stared at my computer for half an hour, and then went to bed. At seven thirty.

And now it's four am and I'm awake, because that was a solid eight hours that I got. It felt absolutely delicious, and waking up this early feels absolutely delicious. You know why? No one, in their right minds, is awake right now. It's really quiet. And that's exciting, because I live in a dorm. People are very rarely quiet here, especially the boys who live in the quad near me. (They've been having a particlularly stupid week, and have been yelling a lot.)

Mmmmm ... silence. I didn't realize how much I missed it.

Now I'm debating what to do in this wonderful silence. I think I'll read. Yes, reading sounds like a good plan. Either Vonnegut or The Mists of Avalon. But first, I'm going to wash out a bowl, make myself some breakfast, and drink some tea. Oh, it has been far too long since I was up at this hour (of my own free will, that is.)

It's really beautiful, imagining myself the only person awake on this floor. There might be someone up late studying, but I doubt it. It's the beginning of semester.

So ... tea and books!

Repercussions of the Lifestyle

It's snowing/sleeting weirdly here. I can't quite tell what the weather is doing. Walking home from work was really super gross.

I've been laaaaaaaazy this week.

I suppose it's just a repercussion of my lifestyle. I'm so busy, all the time. All, all, all the time. And now that most of my major projects are done, almost all motivation has stopped. I really like sleeping, but I also like to stay up late and shit around. Usually, staying up late to shit around wins out, because ... I'm very, very good at distracting myself.

A part of this new trend is that I'm planning my next tattoo. There will be pictures of ideas up at the blog. The next one will probably be pretty small, a text tattoo. I have ideas for a full-back piece, but that's a huge commitment, and ... they are forever after all. I'm also wondering if I want to do something that I've written, or something that someone else has written. As a writer, it would be really cool to have my own words on my body (and potentially more creative). But it might also be weirdly narcissistic. But would it also be strange to have someone else's words on me?

It's a dilemma. I'm obviously not going to get another tattoo for a very long time, but I'm still designing it and will sit on the idea for a long time. Probably until after I graduate. A lot can change in the next couple of years.

I wrote a poem for Creative Writing, and I really like it. That makes me happy - I'm becoming more interested in poetry than I've ever been. Maybe it's because it's easier to write poetry in college than it is to finish any sort of narrative. It's a one-shot, sit down and get a full draft right away. I can also experiment more.

Don't get me wrong, I still love the novel, but it's on a strange sort of hiatus until I can get time to really work on it.

I've caved, and decided to buy an iPod. I miss having portable music ... and iPods have so many awesome things that attach to them. And they're shiny, and ... MISS portable music devices! Especially now that I'm busing a lot of places around the cities. iPods are nice for that. On a side note: I've been pirating music from Hannah, and she has the Dr. Horrible soundtrack. Ooooh, the wonder that is Joss Whedon! I still really need to finish Firefly. Kira: Firefly soon, yes?

It's been a technology/music sort of week.

Pictures of new boots are coming, as well as the new shirt I'm wearing. Potentially a dress too (it's a sexy little casual thing). Actually, picture post in general coming later.

Tonight's docket looks like reading the play for acting tomorrow, and then reading some Vonnegut. I bought "Slaughter-House Five" and "Breakfast of Champions" last weekend, and am dying to get started on them. I've been in a Vonnegut mood for a while now.

X-posted from Livejournal

Last week was potentially one of the best weeks ever.

Here's a list of all that went right:

1. Vagina Monologues was pretty damn successful. We kicked it off on Wednesday, and I didn't have to do too much except for the Hamline performance. The last performance was today, so the campaign is officially over.

2. The Hamline performance was well attended, and we made over $1,000 at the door. Yeah. We're awesome like that.

3. Nancy Pelosi was confirmed as a speaker at Power Shift (which is in 11 days, so stoked!).

4. Got to spend the afternoon kicking around Uptown with mom. I bought a dress, a sweater, and sexy-as-hell boots. All practically brand new, and under $50. Yessss.

5. We applied for and got all the money for our conference funding for Power Shift.

6. At Lindy lessons at Tapestry on Thursday, I was singled out as a good dancer and given a coupon for a discounted hour-long private lesson. Hell to the fuck yes.

7. Ike finally came to swing dancing tonight. This has been a year and a half in the making.

8. I am finally getting a chance to relax.

9. I spent Saturday night with Hannah G. nerding out and talking. We haven't hung out outside of work for far too long. We also did a massive music swap.

And so my life is looking pretty damn awesome right now. I'm incredibly happy, and things are looking up. And after Power Shift, I don't have anything too major planned. February was/is my month of crazy.

Today has been really chill. I had massive amounts of laundry to do, and I did it. I basically just camped out in the lounge on first floor all afternoon, did homework, and kept an eye on my laundry. I probably did about 6 loads.

I think I'm steadily becoming more of a night person. Last night, I stayed up until about midnight, and tonight I think is going to be another long night. I have 60 more pages of reading to do for my history class and a poem to write. I write all my best poetry late at night, so here's hoping that lack of sleep will propel me to write something awesome.

Mmmmmm. Garbage makes really great, grungy pop. I've been listening to Incubus for most of the night, and Shirley Manson's voice is a nice break, along with the super industrial music itself.

I should stop procrastinating and get on that homework. Yes. Ready .... go.

Off to a running start

This semester is, as predicted, off to a running start. My classes appear to be challenging and fun, all at once, which is what I really like.

My classes are:

Acting 1 (I get to play around for two hours on Mondays and Wednesdays. YES.)
Creative Writing (More about this prof. later)
American Lit to 1860 (the professor for this class seemed really cool, and then he would start yelling a lot. In an angry sort of way. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about him, so we'll see how this goes.)
1968: Protest and Revolt in Global Perspective (the professor is hilarious, and the work load is intense. Good combo, they sustain each other)

So my creative writing professor is crazy. You know that stereotypical English professor? The one that is absolutely crazy? I think it might have come from her. We had a "sensory picnic" the first day of class. This means that she laid out blankets, put objects on them, and we were to have a moment of Zen with the objects, and then free write for 10 minutes. (She actually used the word Zen moment.) On February 12 we have the day off. On the syllabus it reads: "Feb. 12 No class. WANDER AND WRITE POEMS."

She makes me smile rather a lot. I love crazy creative writing professors.

Balancing "The Vagina Monologues" and Power Shift has got to be more difficult than expected, but I only have a week left until Vagina Monologues is out of my control. Less than that, even. I am absolutely exhausted, but in a good sort of way. We're getting a lot done for both. It looks like we will have raised $15,000 by the week after next week. (By "we" I mean students from the schools all around the Twin Cities.) That's pretty damn amazing. That conference is going to rock so hard core, I don't even know.

As for the moment, I'm doing some homework and waiting for friends to come over to watch Planet Earth. It should be super sweet. Lovely, lovely lazy Friday.

Days off make me happy.

In order to not burn out on activist things before the full semester even starts, I decided to take my long weekend between J-Term and Spring Semester off. Thus far, it's been four days of wonderful irresponsibility.

Friday, I had planned to stay in and clean my room, and then my dad called and offered to take a friend and me out for lunch. He had to get me my prescription, and it worked just as well, because I needed groceries. It was a really great time, and I love seeing my dad.

That night, I decided to try to clean my room, and then got a call from another friend. Her friends from Iowa were in town, and she was having a shindig at her apartment. So I went, made some cool new friends, and went home and went to bed.

Saturday was pretty lazy. I had hoped to meet up with the same friends for lunch/coffee, and then didn't get to. I ended up going to a ceili at Tapestry, which was fantastic. I haven't done ceili in about a year, and by the time I finished my calves were positively burning. They've been sore for the past two days, but it was worth it. A very delicious sort of sore that makes me want to stay in and be the relaxed homebody I should be on breaks.

Last night, I went swing dancing after spending a remarkably pleasant time at Ike's Superbowl party. I knitted most of the time and talked over the game. Swing dancing was good, but my calves hurt. This morning I could barely walk as a consequence. Am feeling much better now.

I convinced my friends Tim and Kira to go to Tapestry to learn to swing dance on Thursday! It should be a really great time, and seven bucks for a whole night of dancing plus at least two hours of lessons? Really good. Really damn good, in fact.

Dancing is sometimes my life.

Today I read, shot out some emails for Vag. Monos, but was generally very lazy. I did manage to do a weeks' worth of dishes, however. That was fantastic.

I've also been writing again, which feels really good. I took a break to gather my thoughts, and now they're gathered and going very cool places. I'm on chapter 14 of my novel, which is an absolutely fantastic feeling. And I've still got most of tonight to continue writing, I just thought I'd take a quick break to update everyone on my weekend pursuits.

I like breaks. I should take them more often.

My life has been a revolution lately.

This year, I've been feeling great. About the work that I'm doing, about my life. I've been really energized and excited to work on things, and it has been absolutely beautiful.

It started out with just thinking about SPROG. Remembering the fantastic feeling of working with so many wonderful people, and the inspiration I walked away with. I re-connected with Lance and Juliana, and I signed up for both Power Shift and I applied to be a SPROG trainer next summer. I've also been working heavily with Vagina Monologues, which has been great. So far, I've got at least two organizations that look like they may want to co-sponsor the event, which is great. We need all the money we can get.

I've also been working with SPROUT, a group on campus that's trying to get a campus garden and do food justice stuff with it/personal sustainability. The energy there is so fantastic, and I look forward to those meetings every week. It's absolutely beautiful, and I have come to really love the people in that group.

As the energy has been building, I've felt a distinct disconnect with my academics. Maybe it's because I'm doing all of this on top of only one class, and that's Shakespeare, and I feel like we could be going much more in-depth with it. I'm not sure. But there has been a very real feeling that this point in my life is just that: a centrifical point, a place of change, and shifting.

Then I discovered how awesome Green Corps is. It's a year of activist training in the environmental movement/working for different groups around the country on their campaigns. I'd be paid $23,000-something, and I'd be able to get right into some sort of green movement or group.

All of this has been leading up to my own personal revolution.

I don't want to work against violence generally. I don't want to work at a battered women's shelter, or a rape crisis center, or even at a feminist organization. Maybe I could work at a feminist organization, but what I'm really excited about is the environment. What I'm really feeling jazzed about doing is working against climate change, working for sustainable lifestyles, and indigenous rights and natural philosophy. It's a bigger goal, but a supportive one. This is such a huge time for humanity; we have to come to terms with how we're connected to and using the earth. This lifestyle cannot continue.

Of course, this means so many things. It means that my study abroad is now completely changed (I had been doing a study abroad program that had to do with violence, and now that won't really work anymore), and so it's been a mind-reeling day of trying to figure out if I can change my social justice concentration to something like "Environmental Justice and Indigenous Rights."

The killer? It looks like it will be possible.

I haven't figured out study abroad stuff yet, but as of right now, it's looking like I would go to the rainforest in either Brazil or Australia to study natural and human ecology. The one in the Amazon looks more up my alley - it's more focussed on the social issues of poverty that surround the rainforest - and I'm pretty sure that's where I'll go. But Australia would be really, really cool.

It's a huge switch. But trust me, it makes sense. The only thing is that I have to wait until the fall semester of my senior year. I don't want to go to a rainforest during the rainy season. That would be stupid, and make traveling exceedingly difficult.

Honestly, if I were to start college over, I would probably do Environmental Studies as a major (with Anthropology as a "concentration") and get a Religion minor. So far, 2009 has also been a year of spiritual questing. I feel much more at peace, and also like I'm on the right path.

These changes are big, but they're good. My life has shifted - I want to do what will make me happy, and I know that this will make me more happy. I want to embrace this person that I'm becoming, and this is the best way I can do that.

I hope I can sleep now. I'm very tired, but haven't been able to sleep well this week. I would love to just crawl into bed, and not worry about it.